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Lending the fifteen minutes it took me to finish the first three chapters of this book is perhaps my biggest regret in life I received it as a gift from a co worker who scanned the back cover and thought it might make for an amusing read on the train ride into work The most amusing thing about the book, however, was that a supposed Ivy League graduate thought it a wise literary maneuver to forego employing an editor The material lacks substance, is repetitive, and the quality of the writing i Lending the fifteen minutes it took me to finish the first three chapters of this book is perhaps my biggest regret in life I received it as a gift from a co worker who scanned the back cover and thought it might make for an amusing read on the train ride into work The most amusing thing about the book, however, was that a supposed Ivy League graduate thought it a wise literary maneuver to forego employing an editor The material lacks substance, is repetitive, and the quality of the writing itself, which in some cases of content dubious books serves as a saving grace, is downright laughable The author lacks even the most basic grasp on elementary English grammar he changes tense constantly within the same story, and at times leaves out entire words begging the reader to ask himself am I reading this right as he idles over the same phrase for a good half minute trying to make sense of what s there I doubt that a better writer could have made use of such an absurd premise, the same drunken story told X number of ways, but in the hands of Tucker Max it s altogether a lost cause Find all of my reviews at do you guys know about the website PicMonkey I always use it to crop auto adjust my photos, but I had no idea it offered up this awesome featureHa I m Kathy Bates in American Horror Story Freakshow In case you were wondering, this review is brought to you byBEEEEEEEEER Mitchell got to pick our latest buddy read, but I can really only fault myself since I was the one who purchased I Hope They Serve Beer In Find all of my reviews at do you guys know about the website PicMonkey I always use it to crop auto adjust my photos, but I had no idea it offered up this awesome featureHa I m Kathy Bates in American Horror Story Freakshow In case you were wondering, this review is brought to you byBEEEEEEEEER Mitchell got to pick our latest buddy read, but I can really only fault myself since I was the one who purchased I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell and placed it on a shelf within his line of sight I was not familiar with Tucker Max beyond the fact that I was aware people hate him, and the only reasons I bought the book were 1 the title and 2 it cost a quarter.Turns out this is a book about the sexcapades of a 20 something year old law student If that isn t a precursor to you knowing the narrator is going to be a huge douchecanoe, I don t know what is Tucker Max spends his nights saying things like thisKnowing the reaction will be something like thisMy personal stance is If I choose to read something that I KNOW is intended to be offensive, the one thing I don t allow myself to do is complain about being offended What I am allowed to complain about is the fact that this is a book filled with one liners drowning in hundreds of pages of unfunny, bad writing I expected drunken frat boy stories and chauvinistic comments kind of a Man Show in book format, if you will and I thought it would be a laugh a minute, not a laugh every 37 pages.Here are some examples of things I found funnyWith regard to VegasWe had an awesome roll the night before, but this day luck was not with us, and I ended up losing like 500 Whatever, I had at least 12 drinks, so I clearly came out on top Stupid Vegas, they don t know anythingThat line made me giggle Unfortunately, it was the only giggle to be had in a SEVENTEEN page story.With regard to some girls trying to talk them out of going to a strip club Girl Don t go to a strip club You know those girls don t care about you Tucker s Friend That s not true They sit on my lap and tell me they love meIt took 5 pages of story to get to that one chuckle extracting exchange.Then there was a story of the girl who one upped Tucker Max The girl made the mistake of thinking Mr Max wasthan a roll in the hay and then made a scene in a bar where Tucker promptly belittled her in front of everyone She turned the tables, however, by faking a positive chlamydia test result, forcing Tucker to go get tested Said test involved sticking a giant metal Q tip up his peehole Hilarity ensued, but sadly it once again took 5 pages of crap to build up to the ending.The segment generically titled Sex Stories should have been a source of massive guffawing, but instead offered up this one sexist but funny moment Girl What is your favorite sexual technique Tucker Well, I m not sure Probably where I pretend like she isn t there, get off as fast as possible, she does my laundry, cleans, and then leavesI know I shouldn t laugh at that, but I did Sadly, it was once again in the middle of 12 pages of drivel.And last but not least, Tucker Goes 3 Minute Dating Hilarity Ensues It s in the title, so it has to be hilarious, right Yeah, notsamuch His 3 minute exchanges offered up one gem Girl So, have you ever done this before Tucker No, never I was supposed to do it last month, but my damn herpes flared up, so I waited until they went away That Valtrex isn t as good as advertised I can t kickbox or kayakBefore I end, let s touch on the subject of just how many chicks Tucker Max has supposedly banged The Rule of Three states if an average dude claims to have had sex with numbers in the low 100s you should divide that by three, resulting in a man who has actually had sex with around 30 women Since Tucker Max is a guy who isn t particularly attractive, dresses up for going out by wearing white Hanes undershirts, and gives zero shits about ever NOT partying til he pukes, I assume his reality should probably be divided by three yet again if for nothing but the simple fact that projectile vomiting or diarrhea, as the case may be passing out uncooperative whiskey dick no hook up If you get strong armed into reading this book like I did, I encourage you to skim over everything but the diarrhea segments I know it s sooooooo sophomoric and lowbrow, but Jeebus I love a good public pooping shame story To be honest, I mthan a little bummed that I didn t like this book I tend to like everything that everyone else hates I think I m going to reward myself with a little presentOh, and in case you are wondering Mitchell sold his soul to the devil a long time ago in order to guaranty there would, in fact, be beer in Hell We ll save you guys some good seats My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole With these words Tucker Max launched a classic humor bestseller that has sold than two million copies in the US and hundreds of thousands throughout the world I HOPE THEY SERVE BEER IN HELL was on The New York Times bestseller list for five years including thepositionThe new edition, released in September , includes a newpage Afterword that will delight Tucker s fans In it he describes his life in theyears since the book was first published, including his marriage and becoming a dad His anecdotes are, as always, funny and revealing, told in the unique voice that millions of readers have come to loveActual reader feedback I am completely baffled as to how you can congratulate yourself for being a womanizer and a raging drunk, or think anyone cares about an idiot like you Do you really think that exploiting the insecurities of others while getting wasted is a legitimate thing to offer Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing with us your wonderful tales of drunken revelry, for teaching me what it means to be a man, for just existing so I know that there is another option I too can say screw the system and be myself and have fun My life truly began when I finished reading your stories Now, when faced with a quandary about what course of action I should take, I just ask myself, What Would Tucker Do and I do it, and I am a better man for it I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature Because of you, I don t believe in God any No just God would allow someone like you to exist I ll stay with God as my lord, but you are my savior I just finished reading your brilliant stories, and I laughed so hard I almost vomited I want to bring that kind of joy to people You re an artist of the highest order and a true humanitarian to boot I m in both shock and awe at how much I want to be you You are the coolest person I can even imagine existing If you slept with my girlfriend, it d make me love her Dear Satan,I humbly request that you serve Tucker Max plenty of beer once he joins you in Hell However, please first insert a glass rod into his urethra and then break it in several places Very best,Mark This book is disgusting It is literally the worst book I ve ever read And yet I have never, ever, ever laughed so hard and so loud at the written word This book appalled me but I couldn t stop reading Tucker Max has some kind of writing style, it s almost Gonzo But I would never tell him that And if you did he wouldn t get the reference at all It s like sitting next to some drunk, ex reality show star in an Ed Hardy t shirt as he recounts his shallow, pathetic existence And for that I This book is disgusting It is literally the worst book I ve ever read And yet I have never, ever, ever laughed so hard and so loud at the written word This book appalled me but I couldn t stop reading Tucker Max has some kind of writing style, it s almost Gonzo But I would never tell him that And if you did he wouldn t get the reference at all It s like sitting next to some drunk, ex reality show star in an Ed Hardy t shirt as he recounts his shallow, pathetic existence And for that I give it 3 stars, it s almost an anthropological study of douchebaggery Is that a word AND it is one terrible entertaining ride fistpump This book, uh, shouldn t be called a book I Hope The Serve Beer In Hell is essentially a book length Maxim article boasting session at the bar Now, I don t have a significant problem with either Maxim articles or drunks at the bar, as they can sometimes be funny, but in large doses on the page the effect wears thin Imagery as hackneyed as She look like she got hit in the face with a frying pan may work after eight beers at 2AM on Sunday morning, but I wasn t reading the book then So there This book, uh, shouldn t be called a book I Hope The Serve Beer In Hell is essentially a book length Maxim article boasting session at the bar Now, I don t have a significant problem with either Maxim articles or drunks at the bar, as they can sometimes be funny, but in large doses on the page the effect wears thin Imagery as hackneyed as She look like she got hit in the face with a frying pan may work after eight beers at 2AM on Sunday morning, but I wasn t reading the book then So there were some laugh out loud parts, but again, I don t know that I can call this a book any than the Costco catalog or the Wisconsin Dells tourist guide is a book If you paid full price for this you got ripped off My friend Dan lent me his copy, and he bought it for a buck at a thrift store.Warning If you re even slightly squeamish about sexist language and the portrayal of some women as stupid and desperate, run away Run away A big WOW for shameless debauchery from a raging egomaniac It s like bungee jumping into the middle of the mosh pit at a fraternity grain party I m one of those girls who liked parts of the Tucker book Well, actually this is sort of a mixed review The first story I read was the Tucker tries b tt sex one I nearly peed myself it was so funny For shock value and out of control laughs, you could stop after that story and be satisfied It turns out I should have stopped The next story I read A big WOW for shameless debauchery from a raging egomaniac It s like bungee jumping into the middle of the mosh pit at a fraternity grain party I m one of those girls who liked parts of the Tucker book Well, actually this is sort of a mixed review The first story I read was the Tucker tries b tt sex one I nearly peed myself it was so funny For shock value and out of control laughs, you could stop after that story and be satisfied It turns out I should have stopped The next story I read was pretty funny The next brought a few chuckles, and by the fourth I was bored Vomit and poopy pants is only outrageous once not every story It seems pretty obvious that he decided early on to never let the truth get in the way of a good story At that point I switched gears and realized the true entertainment value laughing at Tucker s misplaced ego, lame debacles and feeble attempts at writing And since they re all embellished versions of the same story, you get to guess the timing and outcome of the events and feel proud of your highly tuned prophetic skills This gem of a discovery had me howling anew Honestly, some of these stories my 17 yr old brother would consider too pathetic to repeat Tucker et al flake out, embarrass themselves, explode body fluids, and the outcome is lame You would think they would be told in a self deprecating manner.By contrast, Tucker brags about them like conquests from a billionaire gladiator I ve never known someone so egotistical they don t even realize it when they were made to look the fool I ve met some successful adrenaline junkies in my short life whose stories ARE mind blowing I ve been involved in some of their debacles and am astonished at what they get away with Tucker s stories for the most part would make an embarrassing footnote of losers seen fumbling around in the background Don t get me wrong, if you re a freshman and led a sheltered lifeif you like comedy and can overcome the short bus, Darwin candidate frat i tude, some of these stories will have you rolling If you ve matured beyond Spring Break and prefer well written tales, there s better options for drunken philandering memoirs Hunter Thompson paved the way with Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas Also make sure you get Brett Tate s hilarious photo documentary about insane wealthy gangsters living the dream High Heels and Dirty Deals Globetrotting Tales of Debauchery from a Binge drinking Nymphomaniac tis the season13 TALES OF TERROR BOOK 5my carefully considered thoughts on Tucker Maxtis the season13 TALES OF TERROR BOOK 5my carefully considered thoughts on Tucker Max This book makes me embarrassed to be a man The fact that it has sold 400,000 copies makes embarrassed to be a reader That it s justified as bathroom reading makes me embarrassed to own a toilet To folks who happen to like it hey, to each his own My opinions are worth both sides of the two ply they re printed on and nothingBut as wussy as the words are, the whole premise I m an obnoxious alco fuckaholic, but I know it, so the joke s not on me lacks two things I m sorta fond of co This book makes me embarrassed to be a man The fact that it has sold 400,000 copies makes embarrassed to be a reader That it s justified as bathroom reading makes me embarrassed to own a toilet To folks who happen to like it hey, to each his own My opinions are worth both sides of the two ply they re printed on and nothingBut as wussy as the words are, the whole premise I m an obnoxious alco fuckaholic, but I know it, so the joke s not on me lacks two things I m sorta fond of compassion and maturity this book is like anthropology for me i have spent my life avoiding men like this and the women who are their prey just cause they annoy me but i was still curious about why everyone was reading this so reading this book was my shark week i could watch the feeding frenzies, while avoiding that water at all costs i think it was fortuitous that i started reading it the day i went to the leonard cohen concert it made for some pretty magical comparisons leonard cohen is a man who has been this book is like anthropology for me i have spent my life avoiding men like this and the women who are their prey just cause they annoy me but i was still curious about why everyone was reading this so reading this book was my shark week i could watch the feeding frenzies, while avoiding that water at all costs i think it was fortuitous that i started reading it the day i went to the leonard cohen concert it made for some pretty magical comparisons leonard cohen is a man who has been with some ladies, agreed and so is tucker max so here are two quotes try to match the quote with its author remember when i moved in you the holy dove was moving too and every breath we drew was hallelujah i know the hot one is going to fuck me so i want to hurry up and eat so i can get this pony in its stable.two different takes on the act of intercourse leonard cohen is in his seventies and i d still fuck him first, just for his classiness and i m not offended by tucker max, its not some latent feminist rising within me i recognize that for every one of his conquests there is a corresponding stupid stupid drunk girl who is experiencing the joys of social darwinism my problem is with the actual writing his anal sex accidents do not make me blush what makes me blush is the number of times he says i am so funny or my friends say i am hilarious , or even thegenerous my friends are so hilarious truly the funniest part in this book is in the acknowledgments where he thanks someone for turn ing good writing into great writing.because its baaaad he just isn t funny he comes across as someone who needs to be the center of attention so much, and is such a bad drunk, that he equates saying the loudest, rudest thing with the funniest and i have been that drunk before, and i know how funny it seems at the time, but surely one has better comedic judgment when sober and reviewing the notesgreg says people like tucker max who find david sedaris too cerebral i m beginning to understandit gets three stars because it amused me enough that i never wanted to throw it but it isn t greatcome to my blog